Beaches, Swallows and Catalysts
by flawsinscience
Summary: Sequel to It'll be Ok Mama. How do Harry and Nikki move on following the loss of their son.


It's almost a year to the day that fortunes turn for them once again. Life was painful for so long, it still is on the baby-days. When it seems like every street contains a screaming infant belligerent at their existence, yelling uncontrollably because things aren't going their way.

On the dark nights of autumn it was the slow, melancholic love that sustained her. They'd lie together, entwined in grief, staving off the sorrow with an intimate moment, distracting their tortured souls with a momentary surge of relief. She supposes it wasn't very clever of them to be so careless; in fact, she's astounded at the result. Two blue lines.

Her first reaction is fear, they know the unknown, they live it's aftermath with scarred souls. Her eyes are empty, the tears stopped many months ago and the comfort of work only heightens her sense of loss. She keeps the information from him for a few days, wallowing in the uncertainty. He confronts her on their third night of celibacy, questioning her frustration as they silently make dinner.

He too is fearful, overcome with restrained excitement. Sensing her confusion he suggests they keep it to themselves. A quiet, exciting secret that will banish the bad days, which gathered tightly in his arms sounds heavenly.

So they do just that, silently await the impending arrival. She approves the cold, bracing winter, for the fact she can wrap layer upon layer on her tiny frame, it's a side point that eating wasn't her favourite past time after Oliver died. It pains Harry to passively witness the slight bump emerging as her gait shifts, he knows the mechanics behind it, her pelvis is re-orientating itself. Her pregnancy swagger was cute and just as endearing first time round, daily life simply moulding to her changing shape.

Friends find out over dinner one evening, an off hand comment from Nikki gives the game away, but together they agree a strategy of quiet hope. Until a baby is safe at home, triumph cannot be heralded. Shock exudes at her scan, two hearts beat together, and squirming images reveal the presence of twins. They take it to be some kind of cosmic present from their son. They know trouble awaits them as two hospital scares renders Nikki to the sofa, using her increasing bump to steady her laptop, communicating her disgruntlement to Harry for hours at a time. Her remote input provides useful insight, suggesting leads for cases stumping the boys.

Harry doesn't get to live that down, but the superwoman idiom leaves her ego inflated as she courses through the second trimester, hormones raging as they spent hours a night indulging her whims. He has to hide his appreciation at her entry to the third trimester, heralded by a fresh onslaught of aches and pains, leaving her sleepy and craving odd combinations of food. She looks so content, wrapped up in a soft blanket, reading the tales of Peter Rabbit to her bump, sleeves pulled up to cover her hands, mussed golden tendrils framing her face. There is a palpable sense of hope out shadowing the loss. She wears a swallow necklace as a constant reminder of Oliver, her sparrow watching over them.

The arrival is nothing short of dramatic, but they expect it. Stubborn Cunningham children have Nikki's intrinsic capability to run late, leaving her grumpy under the June sun. Eventually they decide its time, appearing, with difficulty at sunset. Harry had his patience tested once more as Nikki is wheeled into post-partum surgery, bleeding that wouldn't stop. Leo tries his best to quell the Jekyll within Harry, who hides his fear when the twins are brought to wait with him.

Two tiny, perfect bundles, gawping at the world in amazement, he's unsure of who is more amazed, them or him. Leo refuses to hold them, suggesting that Harry start practicing the duel cuddling now. He holds them within a firm, protective embrace muttering about how they'd be just fine and that life was going to be fun.

A few hours pass in equal measure of fear and amazement. Tiny squeaking grumbles are soothed with cuddles and his trepidation is quelled by the occasional input from Leo. Eventually a hazy, drugged Nikki is wheeled out, hidden under layers of blankets. He winces at the blood bag hanging from her bed, bending over the side rail to place a slow, grateful kiss on her lips. They take hours to decide on names, mainly thanks to her narcotic haze. But eventually they're announced to the gathering group of family members, tentative about celebration. Esme Olivia and Jack Alexander carry their brother silently with them.

Their first year is full of new and exciting adventures. They couldn't be more polar opposite, Esme has Harry under her thumb in no time and Jack pushes the boundaries and stubbornly resists change like his mum. But they work, as a family they argue just enough to survive but underpin their every daily activity with love.

They eat picnics in the park, capturing precious family time on film as Nikki guides her gurgling daughter across the blanket, closely followed by Jack who fusses at her attempts to hold his hand, instead running towards Harry holding the camera.

The only negativity the Cunningham/Alexander family feel is a bout of flu which passes from parent to child and back again. A soporific two weeks are spent shielding the outside world from their infectious state. Nikki cannot pass up the opportunity of taking a photo of fever ridden Harry fast asleep with Jack equally as unwell nestled in his embrace. Strong and healthy they emerge for a week at his mum's holiday home at the seaside. Nikki sleeps off the post viral fatigue whilst grandma insists on taking the grandchildren to the beach.

It's on another beach, two years later that Harry and Nikki finally say I do. The South African beach is filled with all of their closest friends and colleagues. Relief is omnipresent; it's a wonder they took so long to reach this moment. He thinks she looks stunning, a plunging neckline complemented by the long train, glistening in the bright sunshine. Blonde curls escape an intricate up-do, it's just like her he supposes, a little bit disorganised. Her children, carrying the train with care and adoration for the perfect mama, compliment her effortless glamour. Heartfelt proclamations of love are passed between them. The soft lullaby of a quartet herald their newfound wedded state. Jack finds their kiss gross as Esme stares entranced by parents so completely in love.

School is a new escapade entirely, Jack gets told to behave by mama, Esme is warned against boys by Harry. Together, strung across the busy pavement they walk the short distance to school. Harry high fives his son, kissing his daughter on the cheek before waving them off at the gate. Nikki's tears surprise him as they walk home, arm in arm.

A family Saturday at six years old introduces them to Olli the boy in photos scattered around the house. Nikki explains that they have an older brother, that he keeps them safe like a big brother should. Harry points out the similarities, the poignant life he held onto, the impish grin he would have had. Esme laps at the information with intelligence, understanding beyond her years that mummy is sad about Olli but also happy because it meant she got to be here. Jack stoically suggests they mark June 21st in some way. Harry hugs Nikki tightly that morning, whispering just how much he loves her over and over.

They do mark each June 21st. Taking a quiet family holiday, sometimes far away to exotic worlds, sometimes just up the road to the seaside. Esme and Jack are content either way, running themselves tired on the white sands, collapsing into matching wooden beds. They dream, they always dream of the happy life they have, smelling the warm salty air long into the night. Bottle of wine in hand Nikki and Harry snuggle on the sofa, equally exhausted by adventures to the funfair, the explosions of icing sugar from baking still lie untouched. In hushed tones they discuss how they got so dam lucky and always send a prayer of thanks to Oliver.

Teenage years bring fresh angst for Harry, his stress levels inflating with the presence of another boy in the house. Nikki teases mercilessly, accepting the fact her daughter has morphed into a beautiful, intelligent young lady envied by many men. Equally she warns Jack to be safe in his own conquest, the dashing rugby player smiles and spares a moment to hug his mama.

They echo the family trade with degrees in medicine, Esme taking interest in paediatrics and Jack keening towards surgery. The intrinsic hope is that no family should feel the loss their parents experienced. The swallow round Esme's neck means a lot to Nikki. Jack marks Olli's birthdays with a moment of reflection; a silent link to a brother he never knew but loves dearly.

The circle completes itself eventually; hand in hand with the love of her life Esme gives them grandchild number one. A boy named Andrew squirms into life, grunting acceptingly at the cacophony of love he's just entered. Nikki cannot wait to enjoy her grandbaby, Harry at her side.

Several years later they realise that everything has been truly worth it; their family house is over run with the joy of childish laughter and lingering barbeques that extend long into the night.

Watched over by Oliver Alexander Cunningham, the catalyst to perfection.


End file.
